Business School Haiku

So I got bored a lot in college (big surprise, right?) At first, I compensated by learning to write backwards. Then, I learned to write backwards in cursive. But college is four years long and by the time I could write write backwards in cursive with both hands, I’d only made it maybe a year. So often I entertained myself by writing stupid shit. I keep everything I write, so…yeah. Here’s a bunch of Haikus I did during, probably, Finance. Enjoy!

This is my one-line haiku that happens to have the right syllables.

Nebulous Exegesis
Proptosis of the Eye

Business Major
I close my eyes
Drift off to happy dreamland
College? Over-rated

Take a morning jog
Time to cough up my left lung
Think I need a smoke

Cucumber, Vaseline, saran wrap, clothes pins, ice, duct tape, candles, fruit

My still dog
My dog is so sweet
But only to you and me
Hair falls out in clumps

He doesn’t do much
Really nothing much at all
Just lays there all day

Starts to smell real bad
Spray lysol on the still dog
Rids of smells and germs!

He used to run, play
Something different about my dog
Not same since car.

Rock Concert
A little rash here
A little more over here
Think I’ll dance moshpit

Think Tank
Lo, man in bathroom
Hope the fan is on
Don’t go in, death comes fast

My fish
My fish lives in a bowl
Glub glub glub glub
Free fish to flush heaven

Step on my breaks fast
Scream and curse a little
Finally hit the deer!

I don’t feel funny
This is my sad haiku
Dead puppies on the lawn


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