BEAT THE SMALL THINGS!

Just kidding. A post like this needs a funny title.

I get that spanking is not the end of the world. We don’t choose to do it, and to be honest, I don’t think it’s in the best interests of the child. It seems like the people it’s okay to beat are usually the weak and defenseless, so women and children. It becomes battery once they can hit you back. And maybe I’m just a bleeding-heart parent, who knows. We’re constantly trying to understand what Trex knows and feels and how he’s learning, so we can raise him with love and positive reinforcement and in the best way we’re capable. Of all people, I understand frustration and wanting to lash out-I have a very present Irish temper and it flairs. Because I have a two year old; they have that effect on people. But hit him? No, not going to happen. Because he’s two. This tiny being has no impulse control and doesn’t understand time-outs, let alone if I were to hit him.

We were in a music store today and this guy had a kid, I think his grandson, with him. The child was out of hand and for us, that’s when we leave the store ourselves but that’s not what he chose. As we came down the stairs (carrying a hi-hat stand, guitar tools, and a 2 year old ourselves), the grandson, maybe 3? or so, ran in front of us and grabbed a mini guitar. Grandpa scooped him up, and the kid smacked him. Clearly very angry, he thrust his personal guitar at the guitar techs.

“Hold this!”

And then he pinned the screaming kid down in the middle of the store, and spanked him. To teach him not to hit, he hit him.

We hurried by.

It goes beyond just that, though. That alone bugs me, and especially when it’s followed by:

“I’mma take you home and give you to your grandma and you know what she’s gonna do?”

“Bea my ath…”

“That’s right, she’s gonna beat your ass!”

That’s a child who is being raised with violence, fear and outbursts. Like a child is going to learn impulse control from guardians who don’t know it themselves. The situation is almost akin to watching someone beat a misbehaving animal, because they failed to communicate effectively what they wanted. Honestly, it freaks me out a little bit.

I don’t have an answer, or a point, but it stuck with me. Trex has rules and boundaries and consequences, but he’s lavished with love and indulgence and affections. My heart just breaks a little when I issues like this.

I try not to judge other parents, and I know I’m a huge softie for the little ones. They’re not malicious or evil or cruel or intentionally bad, they’re just busy learning and being children, with all the complications that come along with that. But to hit one for being a child, for not understanding rules and how to behave, seems unfair. It serves no purpose, really, and is scary and violent towards a toddler.

And for the record? Kid’s behavior didn’t change one bit. Good thing you hit him, he really learned a lesson there.

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2 thoughts on “BEAT THE SMALL THINGS!

  1. I agree with you here.
    Parents who smack often, do it because they don’t have the correct tools to cope with situations. Smacking is an immediate halt on a behaviour, but it isn’t a solution and nobody learns anything from it.

  2. I’m not a parent, so I’m not sure I can contribute much at all to this conversation. But I cannot remember a time when either parent raised a hand against myself or my sister. We were treated with love and respect. We were treated as if we were the seeds of a whole person instead of a thing that needed to be shut up. There was always love and always respect, even when we were being punished.

    We turned out great. From my very limited POV, Trex is one lucky kid. He’ll turn out great.

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